Drowning

Drowning

I think I’ve been drowning a majority of my life.

I’ve been drowning in pain.

All I wanted for so long was the people I loved most to pull me to the surface and let me breathe.

Just a moment to breathe

after the chaos of being trapped.

But now that I’ve had to pull myself to the surface I’m exhausted.

Sometimes it still feels like I’m drowning

and there’s no one there to save me.

I know I can save myself,

but I’m tired.

I’ve helped everyone I love to the surface

but I’ve had to pull myself up

time and time again.

And now I am suffocated with the pain, alone with no one to help me up.

I’ve been here before.

I know I can pull myself up again.

But it’s hard.

Sometimes it’s easier to succumb

to the unbearable suffocation of pain

I’m drowning in.

I want someone to help.

I don’t want to ask or beg.

I just want someone to realize

that I am worth saving.

That I deserve that moment to breathe

I’ve craved all my life.

I’m drowning,

and I don’t want to have to

save myself again.

Enjoy your life. I love you and of course if it is just me reading this, I love you and I am so proud of you.

6/12/22